Timing is important to social interactions. Some children with executive functioning difficulties impulsively act before thinking, while others struggle to flexibly transition to the next task. Both of these timing issues require the help of a patient adult.
Impulsivity
Acting before they think is a common trait of youngsters with executive functioning problems. This causes them to speak out of turn in the classroom and makes it hard for them to stick to activities — such as games or sports — for more than a few minutes. They may get bored and leave the Monopoly board just when the action is getting good, to the annoyance of their company. They may want to jump from one activity to another causing their friends to become frustrated with their ever-changing demands.
Impulsive children can be taught to stop and think before acting. Roleplay, where a parent tells the child to do one thing and then changes their mind and tells her to do another, can help the child understand her friends’ frustrations. Children can also be taught how to choose the right games to play – games that don’t take as long as monopoly and games that can keep them interested. For more help, see my additional posts about impulsivity.
Inflexibility
Other children may seem prone to the opposite behavior — they may perseverate on activities — staying with it too long — largely because they can’t switch gears. They may have trouble in the classroom when the teacher says “put away your spelling books and let’s begin the math lesson.” The child may still be struggling with a spelling word while the rest of the class is immersed in long division. When called upon, he or she may not be able to answer, unaware of what is being covered. This becomes especially frustrating for the teacher and the child.
Teaching your child how to change gears and to “go with the flow” is challenging. This is another area where demonstrating the effect of their staying with an activity for too long has a negative effect. Then help her make a plan for what to do before, during, and after a difficult transition.
Both
Some children may display both of these characteristics at different times. If this is your child, it is important to identify the situations causing these behaviors and then help her make a plan to address those problems.
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© 1995-2019, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
