“I don’t want to ride the Shock-Wave! My stomach hurts, I feel light-headed. Please don’t make me go!”

Trying to reassure me, my daughter says, “I promise you it will be okay.”

“What if it stops when it’s upside down? What if the safety bar isn’t fastened right? What if I throw up? Please don’t make me go!” I plead.

To which she calmly replies, “Look at me. You trust me, right? There’s nothing to worry about.”

I implore her, “Please don’t make me go!”

Next, she tries to bribe me, saying, “If you go, I’ll give you chocolate!” then she threatens me, “If you don’t go, I’ll never speak to you again!”

Finally, I try to escape the situation by saying, “How about we compromise and go on the Antique Cars? I’ll even let you drive.”

“What if my friends see me? Please don’t make me go!” she pleads.

Everyone gets worried at times: it’s normal to feel nervous when waiting to ride the Shock-Wave or when thinking your friends might make fun of you for riding the Antique Cars.  If you or a loved one struggles with anxiety, it is important that you understand more about it.  

Anxiety is a Normal Reaction

Anxiety is a natural reaction caused by parts of the brain that help us survive real dangers.  The amygdala and other parts of the limbic system trigger the “fight or flight” response to help us stay safe.  For example, when our ancestors saw a lion, a tiger, or a bear, they had to decide if they would (1) run away from it, (2) stay still and hope it couldn’t see them, or (3) fight it and eat it for dinner.

Although most of us don’t have to worry much about wild animals in our daily lives, our amygdala is still doing its job of keeping us safe from all of the possible bad things that could happen to us.

When Anxiety Becomes a Problem

Sometimes, this “fight or flight” response can happen when we experience a situation that might feel dangerous but it’s not.  These days, instead of lions, tigers, and bears, there are all sorts of things to worry about. 

When your teenager has to complete an important project for school, she might snap at you (fight), or she could avoid completing the task by procrastinating (flight).  When your kindergartener is afraid to be away from you, he might either have a temper tantrum, hide from you, or be unusually slow getting ready to leave for school.  Some you may even procrastinate until the last minute when thinking about the dangers involved in completing your taxes.

Anxiety becomes a problem when the “fight or flight” response keeps us from doing things we want or need to do.  For example, some children have separation anxiety which keeps them from going to school every day, and some teens struggle with social anxiety which keeps them from going to events they would like to attend.  Some adults may even have trouble getting out of the house because of their anxieties.  Many are misdiagnosed because some of the common symptoms of anxiety can look like lots of other things including poor concentration.

Anxiety is a Big Deal!

The National Institute on Mental Health reports that anxiety is the most common mental health issue in the United States. About 40 million adults have some form of anxiety, and around 33 percent of 13 to 18-year-olds struggle with some type of anxiety.

Anxiety is a False Alarm

One way to think about anxiety is to see it as a false alarm.  When the fire alarm goes off in the house, at school, or at work, we are supposed to get out of the building and then firemen come and fight the fire.  Sometimes, these alarms might go off when there is no true danger because we overcooked dinner or because some overly curious boy pulled the alarm just to see what would happen. 

Anxiety can feel extremely uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous or harmful to you if you learn to recognize the difference between a real alarm and a false alarm.  Because our “fight or flight” response is hard-wired into our brain, we can’t get rid of the alarm.  We just want to better control it so it works well without scaring us, making us exhausted, distracting us from our work (or schoolwork), or otherwise keeping us from enjoying life.

If you or someone you care about struggles with significant worry, it is important to remember that anxiety is highly responsive to research-based treatment.

Anxiety Can Be Intense

Much like the roller-coasters I fear, feelings of worry and anxiety go up and go down. The progression of anxiety can be broken down into five stages on what I call the “AnxietyArc” or Five-Point Scale.

1. At the lowest point of the arc, we’re not worried.

2. When faced with some “danger” whether real or imagined, we start to feel uncomfortable.

3. Uncomfortableness left unquestioned can progress to worry.

4. An unaddressed worry can progress to intense anxiety.

5. Finally, at the highest point in the arc, we experience extreme emotions and “fight or flight” symptoms.

Sometimes the progression of anxiety is slow, while other times it can be super-fast, but becoming more aware of the intensity of anxiety can help you or your loved one better address your needs.

Symptoms of Anxiety Can Improve with Research-based Strategies

There are several research-based strategies to help yourself or your child or teen deal with anxiety.  See my post “Addressing Anxiety: Lions, and Tigers, and Roller Coasters, Part 2“ for more about this.

Need Help For Yourself or an Anxious Loved One?

At Life Solutions of Dallas-Fort Worth, we’re here to help you or your anxious loved one by utilizing the latest research-based methods to assess and address needs.

Contact us to take the first step. 

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(c) 2013-2019, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.

PHOTO COURTESY OF STOCKSNAP.IO